"Naked male sport climbers? No! I want naked male trad hogs! Pushing 50 or over, very hairy chest and back, front tooth missing (no dental insurance), wrinkled yellow toenail fungus, sunburnt dome with long gray ponytail (sparse curls will do), fingers the size of Polish sausages, torn-off nipples due to offwidth damage... Now there's a man, an image to behold, every climber chick's dream. And when he says: 'Hey, honey, wanna do the DNB?' you just melt into a heap of adoring lard."